So Begins my road to the bitter sweet end.
Let me tell you what I’m talking about, My name is *******, (Sorry, I would rather stay anonymous.) But I’ve been married for five years, with one kid. I got saved around the age of 20. I was excited and still am, to experience his joy, spirit, and love. But most of all as a new believer, I loved to read his word. I made it a priority in my life, and still do, (though I can’t read as often as I used to because of grad school, ministry-church, fellowship, work, and family.) But I still dive into the word with an open heart and open mind just the same.
When I first received Christ salvation, I made it a priority to read the whole bible and I did. [New Testament 3 times, Old Testament once and now i’m going through OT again for a second time; I’m on Samual.]
Now that I’ve been saved for several years, I have been put in a leadership position to do discipleship bible studies with the teens at the church. Which is great? Because not only do I get to teach the word, but I get to dive even further into the meat of the word than before. I teach expository style going chapter by chapter; verse by verse.
Thus the the BitterSweet Road Begins…….
So I get to Matthew 11, where they are talking about John the Baptist. And that’s were I came to the first contradiction in the bible, that to me is explainable. (My next post will be about the contradiction.)
And the more I think about the bible, the more it seems to that the bible is not perfect. And by PERFECT- Without flaw, error, or fallacy. Without hypocrisy or fault. It is complete with quality accuracy.
For those who don’t understand, this is huge to me. My entire life is grounded in my faith of God and in my faith of the bible. I am who I am, because of my biblical faith. This is not a question of if the Christianity-God is moral, but is the Bible accurate, true, and more importantly perfect. Because as a christian we should believe the bible is inspired by, therefore true and perfect. But if the Bible has fault, error, or contradications how do we deal with that?
Do we accept them? and ignore them? or even worst justify the contradictions…...(like I think most christians do)
or
Accept the truth, that the Bible is not perfect/inerrant? And that my GOD, Christianity may be one big lie?
So please tell me, Am I headed down the road to enlightenment & freedom or am I headed down the road to destruction?
The BitterSweet End 
I find that the best way to decide anything is to look at it from an objective viewpoint. I could give advice but what might seem like good advice to me, may seem harsh or inconsiderate to the receiver. And losing faith is never an easy road. But I will say this: Once you learn to view the world with a scientific mind, or rather skeptically, and only accept truth, then you can truly feel whole. It sounds cheesy but it’s the only way to describe it.
P.S. I have been that same road, so if you ever want to talk about something or have a question, you know where I am. I would be happy to help.
Thanks, for the advice. I majored in mathematics in college, so I have very good understanding of logic. That’s why I feel some of the recent questionable scriptures I have come across seem unexplainable.
However I will be posting my findings later, so I can get feedback, and find truth and peace in this area.
First, good on you for reading your Bible. most Christians, Muslims and Jews NEVER in their entire lifetimes actually read their holy books in their entirety. You should be proud of yourself.
In regards to your question, if you are sincere in your search for the truth, you will come to the right conclusions…IF you are consistent, honest with yourself and others and have the courage of conviction to do the right thing.
Once you make a commitment to follow the evidence -no matter how disturbing or painful- you will find that certain things become inevitable. Loss of belief is never a choice. Committing to reality IS a choice and is indicative of what type of person you truly are.
Good luck to you and if you need support or have any questions please do not hesitate to contact me via my blog. You are not alone in this and for what it’s worth, I went through a lot of pain before my own deconversion but unfortunately went through it alone. You don’t have to, There are many of us online who can help you along on your journey. The end result was and is well worth the painful transition period. I’ve never been happier.
Best and warmest wishes to you. You’ve taken a brave first step!
“So I get to Matthew 11, where they are talking about John the Baptist. And that’s were I came to the first contradiction in the bible…”
Actually, try Genesis 2 for the first contradiction, where a completely second creation is described. By “second”, i mean it occurs in a different order than that described in Genesis 1.
If one wants to get really into it, we could discuss how light occurred without the sun or stars.
Really reading the bible is an extremely dangerous use of one’s time, especially if you plan on undertaking the project without wearing your rose-colored glasses. I am encouraged by your bravery.
The word “perfect”, used biblically, most often means “whole or complete”. This is major when one seeks to understand God and His love letter, the bible. When one sees the words therein in that light, the bible will break your heart with its beauty and power.
Let it.
Hi, hope everyone’s going well 🙂
Im curious, To those who have posted in response this blog:
1. Do you all know each other online to some degree?
From reading some these posts, there seems to be a shared drive at work here.
2. Do you belong to the same online community?
3. Forgive my bluntness, but are you all atheists?
Do any you have an agenda to steer this guys sincere questions to align to your own worldview?
Please be honest.
And if so,
1. Is this then an atheist’s attempt at online Proselytising?
Sorry if this sounds rude, I’m happy to discuss this
Could it be that the Bible is the Word of God, yet it has been misunderstood?
I believe we should sincerely follow the truth wherever it leads.
That goes both ways though.
I hope everyone has a great week 🙂
To clarify, These questions are directed to Aesthetically Vile and godlessmonster
Hi Ryan,
I can’t speak for Aesthetically Vile and godlessmonster with any certainty, but I doubt they’re in league in any way. I also think the guy writing this blog is probably exactly who he claims to be. This is my first visit here, so I don’t know that for certain either.
However, I can steer you toward some atheists I’ve run across who are definitely sincere in their deconversion stories. I’d recommend Respectful Atheist and Agnostic Pastor. You can check my blog out as well, if you’d like. There are many of us who have left religion because we’ve been searching for truth wherever it might lead, just as you mentioned. It’s a horribly difficult process that often ruins friendships and family relationships. But it’s also honest. If this is something you’re interested in, I recommend you check out the blogs I mentioned. They’ll detail all the reasons why someone might give up their faith.
And good luck to you in your own search for truth.
Just came upon your post, I’ve visited your blog, and I have found parts of it really useful 🙂 particularly the recent post on how to – short-circuit our defense mechanisms so we can try to achieve true objectivity. Thanks
Well, you won’t get your answers to these questions out here I don’t believe.
I know there are seeming contradictions in the New Testament. Usually they are solved by understanding the larger context, the culture, the location, etc.
Then, there are passages that no one has an explanation for nor can reconcile with other passages. There are not many of those for me but they are there and I believe they are there for a purpose. Thus, faith. It is a wonderful faith and a grand, glorious, and Almighty God.
Have you read any of Bart D. Ehrman’s books? I’d recommend starting there.
I really haven’t read any books by atheist or agnostic, because I think it might Alarm my wife is she saw god is not great sitting on the bookshelf.
Most of the atheist information I get is via web/blogs/ & some YouTube. I really like watching the debates. I have to say hitchens is very impressive, I like the way he is brings Common Sense to the debates. He doesn’t try to be philosophical, he simply ask does theism make logical, reasonable common sense. I have to say he makes many good points
I did a quick search of Bart Ehrman on youtube and he is on there – although reading his books would be much more informative. I can’t imagine doing this kind of search without books – but I can understand the situation you’re in.
Regarding Hitchens – his books and online stuff really helped me. It made me realize that I wasn’t crazy for thinking that there was something inherently wrong with religious thinking and arguments. He just seemed to hit the nail on the head over and over for me. I have a Christopher Hitchens category on my blog with links to some of his stuff online.
Let me also recommend this series of videos on youtube:
http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLA0C3C1D163BE880A&feature=plcp
They’re really good…
This is a response someone else (not me) posted regarding Evid3nc3 video. This is probably not the most articulated response, or the most well packaged, but I think if he makes some points about salvation which I think is interesting –
I don’t necessarily agree with everything he says, but the point he makes about religious experience and salvation I think are worth consideriing, no matter how the video itself is presented. I mean it doesn’t have the bells and whistles – background music and animation that Evid3nc3’s videos have 🙂
I actually would have agreed with a lot of what this guy says when I was a Christian. Back then, I wouldn’t have viewed Evid3nc3 as a “true” Christian either. Of course, I would have felt that way about most people that called themselves Christian.
However, this video is actually just using the “No True Scotsman” fallacy. He’s not really disagreeing with any of the real issues Evid3nc3 brings up against Christianity — he’s just saying that Evid3nc3 was never a true Christian to begin with. But that should be somewhat irrelevant. There are people who were never Christians that still make really good cases against Christianity. So whether or not Evid3nc3 was ever a true Christian is a very minor point.
really helpful video, I have seen it before, it def is a clear explanation. thanks 🙂
funny about the Scotsman argument… cause their was a guy on the post https://bittersweetend.wordpress.com/2012/03/19/who-is-the-best-atheist-debater/
PERSTO said ur not an atheist until you have read age of reason by Thomas Paine
This is really good. Bart Ehrman’s books are good. I believe in “God” but not a God as an outside agent. Frequently many ex-Christians end up taking the ‘anti” stance. First they believe in God and then they don’t believe in God. Frequently they actually are saying “I no longer believe in my parents God or my community’s God.” The belief and the unbelief are both denominational. I used to be Christian but now I’m a non-Christian. I used to be Catholic but now I’m a non-Catholic. I used to be an X but now I’m a non-X. Just because the Bible isn’t the word of God doesn’t mean that God doesn’t exist. Many of our beliefs are really just Geographic Righteousness. Our first religious teachings are either our parents teachings or the immediate faith in the vicinity.
God could be a “God/System/Meaning/Values” that we can’t altogether understand yet. Here’s one of my favorite quotes:
There are no unnatural or supernatural phenomena, only very large gaps in our knowledge of what is natural.
Edgar Mitchell
Apollo 14 Astronaut
Thanks. Keep Blogging. Keep Writing.