Considering that the Holidays are upon us, I’ve been thinking of some of my relationships with my Family and Friends. In regards to my relationship with my wife, most of the heated discussions surrounding religion have mostly calmed, however there will be obstacles later down the line that we will have to eventually tackle (I.E.: Me never becoming a Christian again, raising our children, being more open about being a non-believer), but we will cross those bridges when we get to them.
I have always wanted to host Thanksgiving at my house. I somewhat view it as an act of stability and security to be able to host thanksgiving at your house. For me personally when I think of the person who always hosted thanksgiving at their house (even in my family or others), I always thought of it as that person was the family patriarch or matriarch and the Head of the Family.
So in addition I’ve always look forward to blessing the thanksgiving dinner, but now I’m not sure if I should. I’ve considered making a prayer, but not saying in Jesus name. I’ve considered saying a quick speech, and letting my wife bless the food. Or letting my pastor friend bless the food, if he shows up. So this is a weird situation for me.
On another note, I’ve also been thinking about my relationship with my parents. My mom knows I’m no longer a bible thumping Christian, but I’m not sure if she has a full grasp of my atheist side. And on top of that, since we are having thanksgiving at our house this year, she is bringing her new Christian boyfriend who is a somewhat religious type. So that might make for an awkward evening, if we end up on the conversation of religion. No matter what, it’s going to make for an awkward evening, cause I think he is little too up in the clouds. If that even makes any sense.
Now for my Dad and Step-mom who themselves separated about three years ago; neither of them know that I am no longer a Christian. So they are clueless as to what is going on. As for my Dad, I don’t think it would bother him at all, because he is not the religious type. To him God is something you do on Sunday morning. And as for my step-mother, it will probably bother her the most out of everyone, considering she is very religious. When I got saved in college, she was one of the first people I told because I knew she would be excited for me.
The reason I actually titled this post Peeking Out the Atheist Closet is because I have all these family & friend relations, that I have not told that I am an atheist. I haven’t even told my best childhood friend in New Jersey. So even though my wife, my pastor, and few close associates know, I feel like I am only peeking out the atheist closet. I have not actually come out of it.
Just to illustrate,
I still fake it at work. In fact several of my work colleagues referred to me as a ‘Man of God’ the other day. And in fact my wife and I have a small group of friends we do bible study with on a somewhat consistent basis and I still fake it with them. I’ve considered coming a little more out the closet and openingly telling the rest of the small group that I am no longer a Christian. And to a degree I still fake it on facebook; I don’t put up things proclaiming that I am an atheist, but I don’t put up things that talk about Christianity anymore. In fact, I would still say I’m in the process of becoming comfortable with the idea of labeling myself as an atheist in front of other people. So this is why I say, I am still peeking out the closet.