Stories of Faith & De-Conversion

A Similar (Touching) Story on an Atheist Minister leading the faithful:

“Reading the Bible is what led me not to believe in God,” he said.

I came across this article awhile back. It’s an old one, but one worth repeating. It really does highlight the struggles of those who are truly engulfed in religion and the struggles and pains of deconverting.  And coming to the painstakingly conclusion that God does not exist; especially when your income is dependent upon it.

I can completely relate to what Jack states when he says, “The more I read the bible the more questions I have.

Because coming to the realization that God does not exist is very scary thought initially; and instead of finding answers in the bible, all it does is provoke more questions.  It is a very scary moment for the believer to come to the rationality that we are alone in this world and that there is no heavenly ‘god’ watching over us, protecting us, guarding us or guiding us.  Even the notion of questioning and doubting ones faith takes an emotional toll. As Adam says in the article, ” I asked God to take my life before I lost my faith.”  As this was also a prayer of mine at one point in my deconversion.

About M. Rodriguez

When I first received Christ salvation, I made it a priority to read the whole bible and I did. But it was the Bible that made me question my faith. For I found it flawed and lacking. Due to this I launched a personal inquiry/investigation into my faith, and ultimately realized that the Christian God of the Bible was indeed man-made. Now I Blog about those findings and life after Christ.
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7 Responses to Stories of Faith & De-Conversion

  1. MichaelB says:

    I always tell people I didn’t set out to be an atheist; I actually set out to strengthen my belief with evidence by being brutally honest, no matter the consequences. I never imagined it would lead to non-belief. The exact moment I realized there was no God, it was like reaching for the next rung on a ladder and grabbing air. At that point you can either let yourself fall or climb back the way you came.

    • M. Rodriguez says:

      ITs funny the exact moment I realized, (but not accept it) that god did not exist. I remember the exact moment. I was driving in the car home, just got off of work. I was still in the parking lot. Made a right turn to go the street light. Mind you, I had been dwelling on the god topic for some months, but had no fully concluded that god does not exist. But this was the first time, in my own thoughts concluding in my mind based on the evidence, that God probably does not exist. and that the whole time praying for an answer, for some guidance, for god to remove the doubt…-I had really just been talking to myself.

      And I have to admit, it was a scary thought, because in the christian mindset, everything is going to be okay, cause god is watching over us. everything is going to be okay cause god is a just god, everything is going to be okay because god loves me and is going to take care of me. But then I realized in that moment. Everything might not be okay, because god probably does not exist. And that there is really no one is heaven looking out for my best interest and protection. It is up to Marcus and Marcus alone( and family) to look out for my family.

      And that was a scarey thought Because the delusion of a celestial bodyguard that I had all these years started to crumble in that moment.

      • MichaelB says:

        @Marcus Very similar to my feelings at that time. I remember emailing my atheist friend to tell him, still kind of nervous and unsure. He sends me a link saying, “You’ll need one of these.” It was a mug that said “Atheist”. At the time I didn’t think it was all that funny but now I chuckle.

      • M. Rodriguez says:

        lol… i should get one of those, but my wife might not like it. she would probably toss it in the trash when i am not looking.

  2. Arkenaten says:

    ”I asked God to take my life before I lost my faith.”
    This line alone is tragic. That anyone would pray for this is just beyond comprehension and clearly demonstrates the damage that religious inculcation does.

    • M. Rodriguez says:

      I would say this is the mindset for those who grow up in religion have. That they would rather die , than not have God. That life without God is death.

      And really I do have sympathy for that mindset, because, this tells me the person, is focused more on dying than living.

      • Arkenaten says:

        I think it says as much about those that instilled this mindset as it does about the one it is instilled in…and usually children.

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