Information on a mixed Christian-Atheist marriage from an atheist perspective is not always the easiest to find. It seems whenever I look up information on this topic; all I can find is Christian sources and articles. So I decided to do my own post with recommendations on the topic and include some related article links.
First and foremost the most important principle in any marriage is that you can only control your own actions. So the advice is from that perspective. So here are few tips:
1. You must first respect both your partner and their beliefs. This is especially important because some believers do not separate belief from personal identity & self. And in critiquing their beliefs you are in fact criticizing them. So don’t actively try to convert them. If you are, then you really are not respecting them.
2. Don’t be a jerk. By that I mean don’t mock their religious beliefs no matter how silly or absurd it may seem. Don’t be combative or push their religious buttons on purpose. It’s the mentality that if you are not trying to help solve the problem, then you are part of the problem. Keep fulfilling your duties as a husband, father, wife or mother. Just like any marriage it works the most smoothly when everyone is doing their job and fulfilling their duties. Don’t be a jerk, push buttons, be resentful, slack off or slack in your marital duties.
3. Try to find common ground. Try to find something new in common that you can both talk about peaceably. As obvious as this may sound, it is not always that easy. For example: The number one thing I had in common with my wife was our beliefs, now since that is gone. We can both definitely feel that there is this void in our relationship. And it shows up alot in our conversations.
4. Let your significant other know that they are significant. Let them know that you love them and committed to making this relationship and/or marriage work. And don’t just let them know in words, but in action and deeds too.
5. And lastly give it time. It takes time and work for any marriage to work. And with the strain of religion and beliefs it will just take just more time and more work, so be prepared.
- Dear Positive Atheism
- An Atheist Christian Marriage Can Work
- Unequally yoked: Advice for the atheist in a theist relationship
- On Atheist Marriages, Soulless Soul mates: Can an atheist and a believer have a happy marriage? by Jesse Bering
- Atheist and Marriage by Austin Cline
- Mixed Marriages with Atheist & Theist by Austin Cline
- Overcoming an Unequal Yoke, A Guest post on this Blog
- Being in a Mixed marriage Christian-Atheist, and the Issues come up, and overcoming the issues of dogma, Another Guest Post on this Blog
Related Podcast & Videos:
- Dale McGowan: Mixed Marriages
- Can an Atheist and a believer relationship Work?
- Losing Your Religion – Keeping Your Spouse